Archive for the 'Entertainment' Category

Ring, Ring, Ring

“Hello, welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.”

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are phobic, don’t press anything.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fiddle with the * key until a representative comes on the line.
If you are depressed, it doesn’t matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, post code, phone number, email address, date of birth, nationality, and mother’s maiden name.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you are anxious, just start pressing numbers at random.
If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.
If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self esteem, please hang up now. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.


Buypren, Gilpren

[Uhh, is this a pre-Valentine post in the making?]

What would it be like if a Ward 7 patient writes a letter to ‘her’ alleged ‘boyfriend?’ Let’s find out. The names used are highly-confidential, as such I will use their initials to hide their true ‘identities.’ Be good to me, it has been quite some time since I last did something like this. I hope you realize that as you read through the entirety of the message.

Continue reading ‘Buypren, Gilpren’

Flashbacks Galore

Disclaimer: This entry is for entertainment purposes only. If ever the spoofed names and words used are too offensive, I take the full responsibility to apologize sincerely to the original bearers. Happy New Year, everyone.

[I highly suggest that this be read whole-heartedly, in true Visayan fashion.]

Ay susko dong. Kadaming mga plasbak bah sa kung saan saan eh. Kakasawa baga. Hinde naman mababago na, kase deba nangyari na lahat ng pagdadakdakin nila don. Tolad na lang niyang away away bah. Esa-esahin naten yan detu sa sarele kong yirender dong. Kala nela sa kanela lang oso yun hah, kwistyonmark ikskalameysyon poyn?! Oso ren yan sa enternet ba. Dame na nga segurong blager na naggawa ng ganeto eh. Hole na ata ako. Dyanwareto na nga eh. Let na ako sa Nuyer.

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Love in LRT

Never have I seen a love as passionate as the one I witnessed a few days ago. Rarely do these moments get captured, since most of them happen in the most unlikely places six feet above ground. I just could not believe what I saw. Perhaps, I really was seeing the heart of the guy, pounding vigorously as they held hands together by the train. They were not minding the other passengers around them. Even the pilot’s tireless announcements of “kumapet laang pu tayu sa mga sipty handrils” – pronounced with mixed Batangueño and Visayan fashion, was of no effect at all. I don’t consider them one of those local PDA couples you see around, though. They just had their own world that time.

With my camera in hand, I gathered much strength and confidence to control my sweaty hands as I took a picture of them just before I got off the train. Luckily, I got a shot. And should I say, it’s the rarest and perhaps one of the best captures I’ve ever had in this camera. It was absolutely perfect.

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Nang marinig ko ito ay naintriga rin ako tulad ng iba kong mga kasama. Akala ko nung una ay hindi ko ito magugustuhan, pero di nagtagal matapos kong makatikim ay nasarapan na rin ako. Madalas daw ay marami rito tuwing umaga, ngunit tanghali na nang amin itong subukan. Ganito pala ang pakiramdam. Mula noong araw na iyon ay hinahanap hanap ko na ang sex.

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Nosebleed at its Finest

I know this is not the right time for this but really, just now, Ward 7 returns. It has been a while, a long one actually. They will appear again in this ill-fated blog from time to time. Hoo-rah.

As always, a note from the author:

[ The following entry which you are about to read is absolutely fictional. The names are all created in the mind of the author. If you happen to be the owner of one of the names, do react immediately. This post is the second ‘letter’ made by a former patient of Ward 7, who found heaven in the company of his fellow patients. Like what I have said before, do not get carried away, or else.. you know what will happen to you. And of course, you do not want that. ]

Now, shall we begin?

Continue reading ‘Nosebleed at its Finest’

Interview, Wee

Mugrats and ATL

Anna Theresa Licaros rocks.

Aside from beating the heat of a scorching Friday afternoon and enduring the traffic in the street of España and the once dreaded crossings of the academic oval in UP Diliman (simply because of a single P.E. subject), seven excited, yet nervous students of UP Manila made their way to Diliman for a rare chance of meeting up with the current Binibining Pilipinas-Universe for a small interview that they need for Comm3.

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